Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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