I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
