when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize