Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
