He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
