so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
