so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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