bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
