its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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