I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
