oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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