The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
