So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Randomize
