that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
