my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
