Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
