"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
