am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
