So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
