He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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