Can Purell be used as lube?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
two words: eviction party
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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