i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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