Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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