I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
