I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
