I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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