I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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