and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My ass is underappreciated
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
