he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
