I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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