hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
