Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
