Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
