bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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