So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
