are you still at the devil's house?
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
