Ambien. No doubt about it.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
