The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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