Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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