How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
