Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
