There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
