your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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