I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
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