i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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