if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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