Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
