Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
