I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
