So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
