your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He passed out mid-signature
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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