I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
